If Gene Simmons hooked up with Richard Simmons and maybe tossed in a little Meatloaf for good measure, the result would be something to this effect.

Florida

I’m just going to go ahead and say it. Everyone knows it’s taboo to wear your horse tail and flame boots after Labor Day! There, I said it, it’s out on the table now!

Unknown

If you keep doing stupid things like this with the rebel flag, nobody up North is going to take the threat of the South rising again seriously.

Georgia

Pull them up, pull it down, wrap it around. There are several different options for your stomach not to play peek-a-boo with my lunch as you are standing in line.

Unknown

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Unknown

The stockings with the camo skirt and cowboy boots are hot enough….throw in that beard and i’m melting.

North Carolina

Alright buddy, we are going to look past the hair, but let me give this to you straight. Not only are you going to wear all denim, but you are going to wear women’s denim that Stevie Wonder could see is too tight on you?

Texas

I hope you are picking out some nice underwear for us to look at since its pretty obvious you like wearing your skirt high enough to let us study what you got going on back there.

New York

The sand moves really quickly through this “hourglass”.

Texas

She is probably trying to convince the nice elderly woman that the little ball of sh*t that was thrown at her face must have come from some other monkey, because little Kiki wouldn’t do such a thing.

Oklahoma