I guarantee that nobody in the country HAS ever, CAN ever, or WILL ever rock out as hard as these two in Walmart. End of story.

Arkansas

I’m not sure if hiring a stylist from Whoville is the best career move, but who really knows?

Florida

I see you got this whole cross-dressing Shrek thing going for you. Not sure it’s the best look to go with, but that’s your call.

Texas

I now have to assume that you are the most famous person in the world.

Georgia

It was a real stylish wedding party. The bridesmaids wore flannel and the groomsmen wore some nice bright orange overalls. None of the deer in attendance could see them, but for everyone else it was quite special.

Tennessee

I want an official Red Ryder, carbine action, two-hundred shot range model air rifle!

New York

You do understand that the purpose of a shirt is to cover yourself up? Even tank-tops should theoretically cover the majority of your upper body. Unless you were shrunk by like a foot and a half while shopping, which if that’s the case, I apologize.

California

Rirruto? – “Those are Z’s.”  They look like R’s – “Rizzuto’s not a word he’s a baseball player!”

Arizona

Even the Wise Men do their Christmas/Birthday shopping at Walmart. I wonder if he was able to get that Zhu Zhu pet for Baby Jesus.

Utah

Ughhh, it looks like you got into a fight with a stubborn octopus like 12 years ago that wouldn’t let go. Knock him off already will ya?

Iowa