I can’t tell if he is trying to sell me a hooker or wienerschnitzels!

Oklahoma

She must be a member of the Canadian division of the trenchcoat mafia.

Michigan

Is that circled leg jean fringe? I didn’t even know you could do that. It’s like a new line of Sesame Street Big Bird pants.

Texas

What type of failed wrestler are you? And is that a knee bandana? Unless you’ve been shot in the leg, there is never a need for a leg bandana. You are never going to get your shot at the Championship belt so give it up and keep making your way on over to the Poison reunion concert.

Kentucky

Unfortunately his wife, who has a Sonny Bono jean jacket, couldn’t make it into this picture due to a terrible accident in the frozen food aisle…..”Awww, was that a Sonny Bono tree death joke?” – It sure was. The joke is already on Cher for being on the back of a denim jacket and this guy for wearing it, so someone had to take it.

Florida